i know what i said. i just need to get a few things off my chest first.

1. i miss playing music. i miss landstrider. i miss everyone in that band. i miss hanging out with those guys. i miss making music.

2. i'm still in love with michelle. hands down the best thing that ever happened to me in my life. whatever she needs to take care of, i'll still be here.

3. i need to get things in order with my family. i miss my bro. it was nice to hang out with him today. i haven't seen my mother in ages and i need to be more of a presence with her and my dad. i miss my sister who moved to denver.

4. i need to finish school. the mill is a bad place to work right now. the future looks grim and i fear i may not have a job in a year. i was actually looking forward to making 50k for the first time in my life. all i wanted was to get either a machinist or electrician apprenticeship.

5. i need to get my health in order. i'm not exactly fit and i have an extremely bum knee. i'm sure when i go to the new orthopedic surgeon he's going to tell me i need surgery and that i need to get more fit.

6. i need to get my house in order. it needs work. it needs some major and some minor work. i need to pay off the windows before i do anything drastic again.

i think that's all. thank you hilary for hanging out with me tonight and letting me buy us 18 wheelers. i needed that. i needed a night of self indulgence. also, i'm sorry to read about your dog, leslie. i know the feeling. i can't imagine having to put down darrain. he's been my partner in crime for a while now and i know i would be devestated if i had to put him down.

it was good to hear bedford drive play tonight. they played really well and i think they could make it as rock stars.

so that's me, in a nut shell. now it's time to get off the computer and do something.