i just experienced one of the strangest moment in this life. how are you supposed to deal with going to see your ex-girlfriend's newborn baby? this is very weird for me. i was with this girl for all of 5 years. we lived together, we bought a dog together, we made a lot of plans. all that fell through because of one decision. one decision that went against me. one decision ruined everything. things weren't all that great at that time, but it was made completely worse by one night.

there are times you wish you could go back and be in the head of someone else just for a moment to see what they were thinking, to see if you were even in the equation. maybe it would help you understand why people do what they do. there has been a lot of decisions that i haven't made that have decided my fate whether i liked it or not. myabe this is why i won't let anyone near me. people have tried and one or two have had success only to remind me that i shouldn't have let them in the first place.

to the next person trying to get in: bring a hammer, chisel and big torches because it's gonna take a miracle to get past these walls.