i realized that i update this the most when i'm on my midnights. well, i start my midnights tonight. i don't mind because after midnights i get my long weekend and if you read my journals or know me, you know i live for my long weekends.

i've decided that if i don't get my machine shop bid by july of next year, that i'm going to put in a bid for the electrical apprenticeship. i need something to fall back on if the bottom drops out of the steel industry.

things have been kind of strange lately between josh and i. i think we've been pent up in the same house for too long. i know he's going through some stuff and he's probably going to be mad at me for mentioning these things here, but here is where i get things off my chest. we should probably sit dowm and have a good talk. i need to find out what's going on with him. i don't like seeing him unhappy.

i still don't have anything going on musically. sometimes it really bothers me. i really miss the music of landstrider. michelle had the cd on in her car the other day and i thought, "damn, this was actually some really good music." i don't miss a lot of the politics involved. the "are you dedicated enough" or the "we'll write the song this way, no, i think it should go this way." not to mention the, "i think i won't show up for four weeks to practice and see if anybody notices." if we could have just played music together and just had fun, i think we would still be around, but it turned into kind of a job and ego's got involved and that's a recipe for disaster. i just want to write some fun, catchy pop tunes that you can bob your head to.

off to michelle's so we can hang out for an hour before she has to go to work.